Sunday, February 26, 2012

His Story: Single, Saved and Celibate

  I received overwhelming responses to Part 1 of Single, Saved, and Celibate. I feel so bless to know that both women and men everywhere are interested in living a set-apart life. Initially my idea was to give post part 1 my story and part 2 applicable ways to living virtous. But first I would like to share my brother in Christ, Joseph Solomon, who I adore so much. He volunteered to share His story on being a Single, Saved, and Celibate Man. I hope you all are Bless by his testimony as much as I was. At the bottom is his contact info with a song that he covered.

                                            His Story

  I used to be that guy that always said “But I’m different from other guys!”, and sadly I actually believed it. I rarely sought out commitment. I was MOSTLY honest with females, but my motives for being honest were bad. Well, so many women are used to being lied to. So, I realized even if they didn’t like the truth, at least it made them feel respected. On the surface, that made me seem different. Sex seemed great at first but, even in JUST the practical sense, sex outside of marriage proved to have more costs than benefits. We think God gives us instructions for purely spiritual reasons, but I believe He has our best natural interest in mind as well.

Benefit column: 1. It felt awesome for the moments it lasted.  2. Ummm…   COST column: Fear of pregnancy/std’s, confusion (she thought sex was leading to a relationship… but it wasn’t), jealousy, gossip, holding on to a crippling, confusing situation simply because the sex was good, morning-after-pills, etc.

Lastly, I’m left with the idea that this person, no matter how significant or insignificant she was to me, will forever have a piece of me that should have never been shared. After the last failed attempt at celibacy I just got sick of the costs, sick of guilt, SICK of explaining the SAME sin over and over to God the next morning. I vowed to remain celibate until marriage.

What keeps me celibate? Being cautious of all threats to my decision. I’m a man of God, but I’m still a MAN: a man of flesh. Paul says in Romans 13:14 “Make no provisions for the flesh”. So I have to remain conscious of where I place myself. It’s not about how close you can get to the fire without getting burned but how FAR you can stay away from it. Also, God had to change my thinking. Most men take pride in how much sex they can get. I take pride in how long I can go without it. Virginity is not something I can give my wife, unfortunately. But I can at least say “I made a decision long before I met you that I would wait for you, and you have been worth the wait” and I pray she will be able to say the same. So many women take pride in saying “I’m worth the wait!”, but how many men say that?

She won’t have to worry about me longing for sex with another woman when she’s not around. If I can stand having sex with NO woman, surely I can go years having sex with ONE woman. On my honeymoon, I don’t want the only thing special about the sex is that it’s in a nice hotel room. Not in a boastful way, but how many people can say they never had sex with their spouse until honeymoon night?

My main focus is walking with God. It was God’s decision, not Adam’s, to bring on Eve when He said, “It is not good for man to be alone”. Many times we say to ourselves “It is not good for ME to be alone!”, when that was never our decision to make. I can honestly say now “I’m different than most guys”. My aim is not to have sex with a woman or even a relationship. Until God reveals my Eve to me, each woman is simply my sister in Christ. When it comes time for me to take on my Eve, I know that God will have prepared my heart, maturity, and finances to be a covering over one of His own. Until then, I’m a Single, Saved, and Celibate Man. 

Forgiven & Loved (Cover) By Joseph Solomon

Twitter: @whatisjoedoing


  1. great post....celibacy is a wonderful thing. I have taken the same vow 2 years ago and God has shown me awesome things. I took mine too becase I got tired of saying "father i have sinned". One day the Holy spirit said "how do you say you love me but dont keep my commandments." Its not enough to say so but prove your walk in your talk in your love... Men drop like flies when they find out but its all good because I know that if they werent sent by God they would've eventually left sooner or later....Be encouraged young sister n brother ...Remember there are more of us than there is of them, if GOD is for us who can be against us

  2. What a guy, 'Thanks for sharing, lucky woman who finally ends up with you. But we are all "lucky" because we have our Father in Heaven who does care so much for us if we will let Him. Also I appreciate Destiny's comment . Thank you. It s so good to hear from others that live it and prove it can be done. God Bless you!