Friday, November 30, 2012

Single Ladies: The Wait Is Over

"Why we're Not waiting for him to Put a ring on it"

A lot of you may have read my story I blogged months back on being  Single, Saved & Celibate. What I loved about that post is the opportunity it allowed to open dialogue with women from all over. Conversing about both my experiences, and there's as well. One interesting, yet profound email I received after posting was from a woman named "Linda." She like a lot of women I have encountered was curious about my choices, my faith and patience in waiting for Gods timing in relationship. Her exact words was "Ashley, I'm frustrated. I've prayed and been preparing for my husband for so long. I'm 30 yrs old and my friends are married and some have babies. How do you stay so patient?" Interesting enough Linda is the product of a lot of Christian women I have encountered over the years. Women who have been waiting so patiently for the "right" one to come sweep them off their feet and live "Happily Ever after!" So what do you say to those women? How do you tell those Linda's out there her time is coming so just keep trusting and keep "waiting" on the Lord. It's redundant. It's sounds like a broken record playing over and over, until it finally scratches. Then you're awaken to the reality that it doesn't work anymore, which ultimately means it wouldn't have the same effect as it once did.  Right ladies?  So to all the Linda's out there. I'm here to tell you Sis, the wait is over. No more playing patty cake, sitting around as your eyes is fixated on every man that walks through the door. No more mental choas as you wreck your brain worrying if this guy this time is the "right" one! It's Freedom Time. 

Prayer is not a option!
One day in prayer after almost 4 yrs of being single I asked God, "When is it going to be my turn, I've been patient and waiting long enough?" Ha! God must have giggled because after I felt silly for even asking the question. He responded "Stop waiting and get busy in Purpose." At that moment I envisioned a hospital and it's waiting room. There you would find people pacing back and worth, anxious, worried, frustrated and even have fear waiting for the results from the Doctor. To many women of Faith is in this exact position. We have allowed the "waiting" room to consume our being! Anxiously wondering when God, like the Doctor will deliver. It's mind boggling. And Sis, God desires more! We need to stop looking at our friends, celebrities, FB associates, etc. God has chosen an appointed time for each of us and His purposes will come to pass.  What you have or lack should not change your attitude towards life. And we can learn that from our Biblical hero Ruth. 

  Ruth, was a woman who showed both strength and dignity. She looked beyond herself and circumstances. She knew that although she may have loss greatly, moving on was not an option. A lot of us suffer from the heartbreak and  pain that comes without having a man, imagine being married to one and losing him under unfortunate circumstances. That was Ruth! She could have found the odds against her, but instead she found hope for tomorrow. She did not volunteer to be victim, she didn't make any "why me" speeches, and she certainly wasn't "waiting" around  wondering when the next man would take her out misery. Ruth got into the business of living and focused on a greater need other than self. Fear of the future didn't consume her. She was the epitome of the Proverbs 31 Woman who "Laughs without fear of the future."

Nothing changes your circumstance  faster than your attitude. And sitting around "waiting" is not going to make it go faster. Instead I believe God desires His daughters to be so consumed in purpose that He would have interrupt you in order to bring your husband in your life. Sis, a man can recognize a desperate woman from a mile away. There's thirst in her eyes that gives signals and suggest you desire love. Boaz didn't find Ruth in that state. Her attractiveness allured and gave notice to him because she was faithfully and diligently working in her assigned purpose at that time (Ruth 2:6). Not looking to see if he's watching her! And if they had technology like we have today, She definitely wouldn't have been "waiting" for him to call, text, or fb message her back! 

Woman of Faith we have to step UP! The time is now, and we must not get weary. God is not concerned about what He can do for you as much as He's concerned about what He can do through you.  Please! Don't take this post as me preaching because TRUST me God is constantly wrecking my heart daily in order to keep me focus. Although I too desire to be married and have children one day I absolutely cannot make that an idol in my life. And I want to challenge you not to either! 

When that season comes I will properly & confidently step into it. But for now I'm working, I'm loving, I'm building my character, I'm writing, I'm traveling, & I'm shadowing woman of faith who have proven themselves as mothers, daughters, and wives. You have to want God more than you want anything else in life. If not when you get that husband you're going to STILL search for more. Allow God to fill your cup Sis, He has everything you need. 

Fun Day at the bowling alley in Ireland!


  1. Yes the wait is over.
    We have to start seeing our 'waiting' period as a time to work. The harvest doesn't start when we get married, the harvest starts now.

    1. Yes!! Thank You for your comment. Time to get to work!

  2. Aaaamen – And when Boaz sees that you are not just a beautiful damsel but a woman who is not afraid of a little hard work like Ruth & Rebeka, he will ask as did Boaz:

    “5 Boaz asked the overseer of his harvesters, “Who does that young woman belong to?”
    6 The overseer replied, “She is the Moabite who came back from Moab with Naomi. 7 She said, ‘Please let me glean and gather among the sheaves behind the harvesters.’ She came into the field and has remained here from morning till now, except for a short rest in the shelter.”
    8 So Boaz said to Ruth, “My daughter, listen to me. Don’t go and glean in another field and don’t go away from here. Stay here with the women who work for me. (Ruth 2)

    Gloraaaaaaaay! In other words, we all should be purpose driven – both men and women. If we are doing the right thing, in the right place, at the right time – God will divinely take care of the rest! Be encouraged Sistas. Great Post Ashely!

  3. Hey Ashley,

    Nicely said throughout your post. It hit home in many areas, and confirmed where God is taking me. Which I am excited. To be honest, it is actually a relief to not think about this subject..It gets to a point where it can be too much. I also wrote about this in my blog titled: ("Oh You Single Women")

    So grateful, that as we are willing to open our heart to receive all that God has for us to develop. We will see all the positive changes He does in our lives. Some could be very harsh and some simple..But God's change is ALWAYS good.

    Thanks again.

    (Beautiful Faces Ministries)

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  5. WOW. You have spoken truth sister! I happened to stumble across your blog and I must say that it was the working of the Lord. Your posts are divine and God is truly working through you...more than you know!

    Thank you for sharing! God Bless!